March 2012
86 posts
Day 19: Which childhood memory do you hope your child will have (similar to one you fondly remember)?
Ugh. Why do we have to keep talking about my childhood?!
I have pretty good memories of playing in the neighborhood with other children. I liked to ride my bike and play outside in the summer, like playing “Kick the Can” at 10pm in the middle of June with the fireflies out. Skiing with my Dad was really fun and playing softball was something that I was proud of.
Hubz has great memories of summer trips to a beach house or to Lake Powell with his family. I would love to be able to do something similar with our kids.
Friday suddenly got better
Hubz brought me lunch at work and brought our chihuahua to say hi. It was a nice quick break in my hectic day. I went back to my desk expecting a PB&J sandwich and instead, he secretly surprised me with a burrito and taquitos from my favorite place.
The BEST Husband Ever.
Friday
And I have to work through my lunch.
UNFAIR.
The feeling of taking your bra off has always been an amazing feeling.
But it gets 100 times better when you’re pregnant.
Taking bra off = best time of the day.
All I wanna do
is sit in bed, eat hot wings and read some love poetry to my fetus. Is that too much to ask for?
Day 18: In what ways do you hope you’ll parent like your parents did? In what ways do you hope that you aren’t like them?
There’s a lot of things that my parents exposed me to that I want to avoid with my own children. A lot of the problems were because they were wrapped in their own drama including messy divorces and re-marriages or yucky romantic relationships. They weren’t really paying attention for my adolescence which led me to be exposed and vulnerable to a lot of terrible things.
Full disclosure: Between the four parents of Hubz and me, we have over a dozen marriages. So, our childhoods were hectic and unstable. He and I have already discussed that stability and consistency are the utmost importance for children. Although, we know that trying to “stay together for the kids” totally doesn’t work. (As children of divorced, many times over, parents, trust us on this one!)
So, I want more stability for my kids than my parents had given me. I am grateful that my parents gave me a sister. We really needed each other to be each other’s cheerleaders, friends and allies.
Day 17: When will you tell your child about the birds and the bees?
First off, I hate when people refer to sex as “the birds and the bees.”
And, I will explain everything to my child as they inquire and with age-appropriate explanations. My parents never explained anything to me and I had to find a lot of information on my own. Because of my extensive internet research, I became one of my only friends with that kind of knowledge.
Plus, Hubz and I have already talked about the teen sex discussion. We were teenagers having sex and I am not naive. We are going to be honest and forthright. I just wish our parents didn’t ignore it and actually addressed it. I am convinced that my mother still doesn’t think that I have sex and I’m 5 months pregnant.
Doctor's appointment
I had a prenatal check up today. Apparently, I’ve only gained 3 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m not too happy about that. I was a little heavier than normal when I got pregnant so I know that that could be contributing, but the recovered ED person in me is still worried that I’m not eating enough to sustain my fetus.
I’m 22 weeks this week, but at our 19 week ultrasound, fetus was weighing in at 1 lb 12 oz. So, by all predictions, he should be over 2lbs by now. So, I have a healthy fetus thus far, measuring and developing the way he should. We’re about 2 weeks away from viability so I’m starting to stress (a teeny tiny bit) less about the survival rates.
Other than that, we’re good. I haven’t gotten any weird pains or symptoms, just the normal stuff, so it’s keep on trucking for now. I’m just amazed at how easy this whole thing has been…like too easy…like suspiciously easy.
Day 16: Do you have any hopes for your child’s activities? (Sports, academics, school preference, activities, etc)
I was very active in school activities. I was a club leader, I was in student council for 6 years including serving as Senior Class President, Prom Princess, etc. I played sports from scholarship bowling, competition cheerleading and softball. I took music lessons, dance lessons, acting lessons and more. I was involved in stage productions and was in a movie and commercial when I was younger. Then, I went onto college and was very active in my sorority until I got married. Hubz wasn’t as active in school organized activities but did play baseball. While I really loved my jam-packed schedule while in school and I always fed off the madness that came with it, I understand that some people can get overwhelmed with all of that. I don’t want my kid to feel like they have to follow in my footsteps in any way.
I’ve said it before, but I do hope that he is passionate about something, anything. Hubz and I have discussed getting him into some organized activity like a sport or something just to have some social interaction and learn a new skill. But, I’m not heart set on him being a hockey player or violin prodigy or a spoken word poet (although that would be awesome), even in rocket science club. We don’t really care. We just want him to be happy.
i swear people who complain about the movie not being exactly like the book
“Everybody that I graduated high school with, they’re 10 years on a job, and here I am struggling to pump gas, you know?”
—
Eddie Crosby, a 36-year-old veteran struggling to find work post-service. Younger US veterans are really struggling to transition from the military into civilian workforce, many times because the highly trained-for skills they come by in the armed forces become much less useful on the civilian job market. Among younger veterans, the currently unemployment rate hovers around 12%, which is 5% higher than the national average. (via thepoliticalnotebook)
Hubz is an unemployed veteran. It’s a lot harder for him than we expected. Who wants to hire someone who was trained to lead and kill, but has no real civilian work experience? Also, I think it’s an utter disgrace that our veterans can serve their country but nobody will even hire them to deliver pizzas.
Day 15: How much will you tell your child about your past? Why/why not?
I think that Hubz and I will tell them what is age-appropriate or situation appropriate. There was some things in my past that I’m not necessarily proud of (don’t we all have those?) including some issues with my parents’ divorce and remarriages, my problems with a sense of abandonment from my biological father, depression, OCD, an abusive dating relationship, a suicide attempt, eating disorder and recovery, etc. This is pain that I hope to spare my child from, but I know that they will probably be exposed to these things from their friends, media, internet, society, etc and I don’t want them to be unnecessarily frightened because of an under education on the subject. I also want to tell them about how being with their father and having a great friend support system has helped me through all that. I want them to feel like they have someone in their corner, cheering them on. At some point, sheltering a child can do more harm than good.
Plus, I don’t want to raise some kid that could end up on Maury.
Day 14: Who will be with you during labor? Who will visit you in the hospital during your recovery?
Hubz wants it to be just me and him. I said that I would love for my mom, my sister, my best friend and Hubz to be there. I figure if the kid is welcomed into this world with a bunch of people who love him, that we’re just setting him up for success. I think that it takes a village to raise a child and he should be loved as much as possible from the moment he takes his first breath. That being said, I’m not so sure that I’ll still be cool with that many people in the room once I start pushing something out of my vagina. I think that I could barely live with the embarrassment if I crapped on the table in front of Hubz, let alone everyone else.
I would love if all the adults in the kid’s life could come and visit us in the hospital. I really hope that my dad, mom, sister, mother-in-law, father-in-law, grandmother-in-law, brothers-in-law and sister-in-law, best friend and Big sis (from my sorority) will definitely all be there if not more people. I might be afraid of exposing a newborn to germs, but I also feel like after all that work I’m going to want to lift him up and show him to the world a la the Lion King.
Day 13: How long will you wait for the next baby?
We were very lucky in that I got pregnant very quickly after stopping birth control and completely naturally. I feel a little too lucky in that way. So, I don’t think we’ll have to spend much time “trying.”
My sister and I are 5 years apart and my twin brothers were born 20 years after me. I’m used to the bigger age difference but I feel like we would all be emotionally closer if we were born closer together. My husband and his brothers are almost exactly 2 years apart and they are very tight knit. I think we want to have the kids close together (like one every year or two) so that they will have similarly close relationships with their siblings.
But, I want to see how my body handles and recuperates from pregnancy and giving birth. I want to see how Hubz and I deal with being parents, financially, emotionally, etc.
Once upon a time, I joked that I wanted as many children as Hubz would allow that I was going to shoot for a baseball team with a designated hitter, but I’d settle for a volleyball team. But, now that the reality of having to push a bowling ball through my cervix is here, I don’t know if I have the guts to do it. We’ll see.
Day 12: In what ways do you hope your child is like you?
There are so many ways that I hope my child isn’t like me. See gif below.
I’m terrible at having any self-awareness of good qualities of mine.
I do hope that he likes to read or is creative. I would really love to be able to share that with him. I never really had a big support system with my writing and creative endeavors and I want to be able to support my child in that. I hope that he laughs at himself a lot. I hope that he stands up for what he believes in despite the social pressure not to do that. Also, I hope to raise an educated, human loving little activist. (read: feminist)
Hey what pregnancy challenge thing are you doing? I wanna do it!
I stole this from someone on the “Pregnancy” tag. Go for it.
Day 1: What name did you and your spouse call your baby before you knew the gender?
Day 2: When did “Oh-my-gosh-we’re-having-a-baby” really sink it?
Day 3: When you think of yourself as a mom, what’s the first thing to come to mind?
Day 4: Is your nursery complete? What’s the theme and what do you have left to complete?
Day 5: List 5 qualities you hope your baby will possess:
Day 6: What’s your ideal labor experience?
Day 7: List 5 things that have changed in your relationship with your spouse since you’ve been pregnant:
Day 8: List 5 things you think will change once your baby arrives:
Day 9: Where do you think you’ll be when you go into labor? Why?
Day 10: Have you been talking to your baby? Playing music?
Day 11: In what ways do you hope your baby is like your spouse?
Day 12: In what ways do you hope your baby is like you?
Day 13: How long will you wait for the next baby, or if this is your last one, why/why not?
Day 14: Who will be with you during labor? Who will visit you in the hospital during your recovery?
Day 15: How much will you tell your baby (child, teenager) about your past? Why/why not?
Day 16: Do you have any hopes for your child’s activities? (Sports, academics, school preference, activities, etc)
Day 17: When will you tell your baby about the birds and the bees?
Day 18: In what ways do you hope you’ll parent like your parents did? In what ways do you hope you aren’t like them?
Day 19: Which childhood memory do you hope your child will have (similar to one you fondly remember)?
Day 20: And finally, Be annoying! What “advice” do you want newly pregnant women to know?
Day 11: In what ways do you hope your child will be like your spouse?
I hate putting expectations on someone that hasn’t even really started existing in the world yet.
But, if I must answer:
I hope that our child is emotionally strong like Hubz. He definitely is sensitive and shows his emotions, but he doesn’t let things break him like I feel they have “broken” me. He is strong in that he keeps moving forward, looking for the finish line, rather than collapsing on the ground and refusing to breathe. Also, I hope that our child will love his mother like Hubz does. Hubz’s mother isn’t the easiest person to love, but he is there for her, unconditionally loving her. I have a big, narcissistic fear that my child won’t love me.
Finally, I hope that our child will have integrity and honor like Hubz. With him being a part of the US military, I saw a lot of young men and women who definitely lacked these two qualities and it is amazing to see them in my young husband. It makes me proud and I hope that our kid will grow up with those qualities as well.
Day 10: Have you been talking to your baby? Playing music?
I haven’t really been talking to it. I sing in the car, but that’s actually my normal routine.
I’ve been playing music for him and so far, he’s a fan of Glee remakes (Shut up, Marcus. I don’t need your two cents.) and classic rock. (The Joker and American Pie get the most kicks/high fives.)
I’ve told Hubz that he needs to be talking to him more. Since the fetus hears my voice all day and is probably sick of it already. We’ll see. It’s still weird. What do we even say?
Day 9: Where do you think you’ll be when you go into labor? Why?
Knowing my luck, I’ll probably be at work, sitting at my desk. I don’t really mind working until this kid drops out of me because we seriously need the money and life isn’t fair at all.
But, I will mostly hate if that happens because people at my work at nosy and I hate when people are in my business. Plus, I really hope that I’m with David. He is my partner in this and I want him with me the whole friggin’ time.
“No compulsion in the world is stronger than the urge to edit someone else’s document.”
—H. G. Wells (via nevver)
Day 8: List 5 things you think will change once your baby arrives:
1. No more cussing. I’m still having a problem with weaning myself off of this. It might be a fucking problem.
2. Sleepless nights. Pre-pregnancy, I had tons of insomnia, but I’ve definitely gotten used to enjoying 8 solid hours. Sadly, no mas.
3. Drive more safely. ‘nuff said.
4. Focus more on my art. I haven’t always been focused on my writing, but with this kid, I know that I really want to focus more on it. I want to teach them from a young age that working and paying the bills is great but following your other dreams is also possible. I want them to grow up and be proud that I am their parent.
5. Boobs. They have already changed so much. I’m convinced that they will never be the same again.
Day 7: List 5 things that have changed in your relationship with your spouse since you’ve been pregnant:
1. We talk differently about the future. We used to have pie-in-the-sky kind of dreams about winning the lotto and running away to backpack the world with our Chihuahua or about buying a motorcycle and drifting up the Pacific Coast. Things have changed in our minds. We are a lot more grounded about our dreams and aspirations. I think they have switched from some idyllic, Instagram picturesque future to making our next generation proud of our choices.
2. No more drunk fights. Hubz and I don’t fight often but the biggest and loudest fights were usually when we were both under the influence for obvious reasons. Obviously, I stopped partaking in drinking and he has only gone out drinking once since we found out. So, no more yelling at him, “You don’t REALLY love me!” while I lock him out of the bedroom.
3. The way we talk about our bodies. Let’s face it. We’re 23. We’ve been dating since we were 15. Our bodies have gone through extreme physical changes in the last 7 years, so we’re used to complaining about or announcing these changes to each other. Since I peed on the stick, both of us are amazed at what our bodies are capable of. I mean, this shit is pretty magical. So, we complain less and are more grateful and in awe of our youthful bodies.
4. Spend less money. We’re pretty broke anyways, but every penny is now saved for the fetus. We are trying to prepare in all the ways we know. I’m sure he would still love to pick up a RedBull every once in a while, but he’d rather have the extra change go toward the Maternity Leave Fund.
5. Sex. It’s a little different to accomodate my growing size, but it’s still pretty awesome.
An Acceptance!
“Meet me in Elyria” has a home!
You like me! You really like me!
