Magician Never Reveals His Secrets
Me: How did you even manage to jack off yesterday? There was no time.
Me: Was I asleep? Do you do a poop and jack?
Me: I don't even get it. How did this happen?!
David: *waves his hand in front of his face* Magic....
When You’re Around-Motion City Soundtrack ...
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a...– Maya Angelou (via lickystickypickyme)
I wish I still lived in California so I could go...
Yup, I busted them out today. Let me explain: I had braces and NEVER wore the retainers. I didn’t think it was a big deal and I always shrugged off my mom when she got on my back. Didn’t realize she was completely right. So, now that I have a big grown-up job, I’m thinking of getting dental insurance, so I can get braces or invisaline on my bottom teeth since they look...
Just had a crazy idea for a movie. You should write it. 25 year old man hits the...– My dad via SMS at 3:20am. He turns 43 today. Happy Birthday Dad. I’ll get right on that screenplay for you.
What doesn't kill you makes you who you are.
Jolene-Mindy Smith I do love Dolly...
stupid data entry
Me? Do Data Entry?! But, you guys pay me now. I’m not an Intern anymore. Get one of THOSE LOSERS to do it. What? You haven’t signed my check yet for this week? Okay…I’ll get right on this.
Cause I drink it anytime - and anyplace When it’s time to get ill - I...– Brass Monkey- Beastie Boys When I’m dicking around at work, I like to this to get me pumped for Friday nights.
I really like the new Google Chrome OS. It’s much better than Internet Explorer (Obviously) but I have to get used to it unlike Firefox. It seems….fun to work, rather than…actual work.
I have to pay to upgrade my netbook from Windows XP to frakin Vista? What the Christ!?
I wish David did cool stuff like this and let me... →
Won't get home til late tonight
Hi Nora and Danielle, If you get this email, and if you can, it would be great if you could come in later and stay later tomorrow. We need to get the ILCA packing done and I’m guessing I won’t be in until 3 with Kaely’s oral surgery appointment. If not, don’t worry about it, but if you can, that would be great! See you soon, - Dia This means I won’t get out...
sade: Eazy-E - Boyz N The Hood
The web browser on the Nitendo DSi ain't half bad....
On the first read of Walden, I thought Thoreau to be a radical, but on second...– - My Essay Yeah, I just called him a pussy….What up?
Summer Reading Suggestions?
I am trying to put together a summer reading/buying list. Got any good recommendations?
The Fourth Drink Instinct- Cute is What We Aim...
I do too much stuff like this while drunk
txtsfrmlstnght: (914): last night you decided it was time to “get organized” and “straighten out your life.” You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
OH, Bitch Magazine. I love thee.
Courtesy of my favorite bitches. • Some guy with too much time (and expendable income—buy my tampons!) decided to test which tampons are the least absorbent. Why? Because he just learned about Toxic Shock Syndrome, and using the logic that the more absorbent the tampon, the more likely a woman might get TSS…because the tampon would be so saturated it would, in his words, EXPLODE...
I’ve drank 8 cups of coffee this morning. That’s the kind of Friday I’m looking at.
I can’t get enough of this stuff.
The first draft of anything is shit– Ernest Hemingway (via quote-book)