Opposites Attract I’m not talking about the most obvious and superficial differences between David and I. Yes, I am very pale while he is tan. He’s 6’2” while I barely make it to 5’3”. He is naturally thin while I….well, let’s just say I have a “soft” body. But really, there is very little we have in common otherwise. I’m obsessive and crazy while he is spontaneous and easy going. I lay awake...
Instead of unpacking stuff that I know David thinks I am unpacking, I’ve been sitting here drinking Corona Lights and dreaming about going to get some Taco Bell.
agentmlovestacos: Zombieland trailer. (via @ToplessRobot) I’m torn over this trailer. Woody Harrelson is hit or miss. Zombie comedies immediately run against comparisons to Shaun of the Dead—and that’s nearly impossible to top. It does use some David Lee Roth tuneage quite well. Emma Stone—that gravelly-voiced gal from Superbad—is in it and she’s pretty rad. Plus…zombies. Okay, I’m psyched for...
You're never going to make a million dollars being...
Sorry kid, but even if you really try hard, you’re never going to make a million dollars being a Bartender. Plus, you want to make it before you’re 30. You’re 28.
Every once in a while, my college roommates and I had a tradition. We would come out of the bathroom and say, in our most sarcastic enthusiastic cheerleader voice, “NOT PREGGERS!” and wave our hands in the air. Now, for the male kind who might not understand this concept, “Not Preggers!” had and HAS a dual purpose: First, To announce to those that you share the bedroom and bathroom with that you...
I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach...– Mae West (via kissez) (via iamblessed) (via quote-book)
I was going to get McDonald’s for lunch but brought an EasyMac to make at work instead because I thought it would “be better for me.” I’m a loser.
kari-shma: Elton John | Bennie and the Jets
Last Time I was in Town:
Last time I was in town, I got drunk on sake during Sushi Night with the in-laws. We went to Rite Aid for more beer and I preceded to point at people I knew, grew up with or went to high school with and matter-of-factly say their name or if I couldn’t remember their names, I would loudly say embarrassing or rude things that I knew about them. Point at them and say, “You are allergic to...